Who learns the most from homeschooling?

There are many topics that are flying through my head yearning to flow through the keyboard and onto the screen.... but are they the right ones? Are they what God wants me to write, or are they what I want to write? Come Holy Spirit.....

This past weekend was a bit of a challenge. The crazy busy life of homeschooling and having four children home all day everyday slowed down as Andy took the middle 50% (Clara and Stephen) to see his parents so he could work on his new dream of growing Hops. He's gone into a small business with my brother-in-law, Chris, and my father-in-law, Charles. That's another story for another day. The weekend without 1/2 my family was 1/2 as crazy. There was no fighting.... not for a toy or the tv or cuddle time or anything. What a peaceful nothingness kind of sound. There was very little disobedience. Other than trying to get Simon, our lovely 2 year-old who thinks he's king of the Stodolka house to take a nap, there was a lot of peace. I was able to get a lot on my "to do" list done. I was able to go out to eat and not pay a week's worth of grocery money to do it.... I got a little reading and reflecting done.... and I had plenty of time with both Si Si and Punky. Time to play with playdough, read books, sing songs, give baths, clean messy rooms, cuddle, give hair cuts, chat about life, watch some favorite programs....and to well, just be with them. I got to hear Simon develop his language in his ever so cute way. Some of my favorites that popped up this weekend, "Dagi come home. Simon says Dagi come home."  "Outside. Simon outside too." "Mommy sing. Mommy sing star song." or my favorite, when he clearly stole Marygrace's lollipop from the bank, she said, "Simon, did you steal my pop (sucker)?" And Simon, without missing a beat said, "no, Si share." Really? A two-year-old? As for Punky (Marygrace), I noticed her stretch a bit for Simon. We all have things we need to work on. Her "thing" is sharing. Instead of being angry that he stole her sucker (which would be her typical reaction), she kept laughing and repeating "Si share." Then she'd whisper to me, "Mom, I don't mind that he stole my sucker. He's little." That wasn't the only time she shared..... she shared her toys, her tv time, her favorite dinner when we went out and even her dessert - up to and including the last scoop of ice cream. So I had a lot this weekend.... a lot of peace and a lot of moments.

But... I didn't have half of my family. That's not the sort of thing where you can say we were half full, ya know? I missed my husband - my favorite person to talk to.... my human comforter.... my buddy.... my compadre.... my strength.... my direction....my protector.... my provider.... I am a bit of a traditionalist like that. I believe the husband is the head of the household. I don't take that as a slap in my face..... some women do.... but for me, I know God made men and women differently and doled out different roles for them. I get to be the heart of the household. He gets to be the head. I get to focus on emotional stability, comfort, building the kids up, just and appropriate discipline, schooling, making sure everyone gets the time they need with both parents, trying to maintain a comfortable atmosphere in the house, managing the activities schedule.... and on and on....I look to him for direction and advice; he looks to me for the many different emotional tasks that are involved with raising children. We aren't perfect in our roles, as we are human, but there is a safety in taking on the role we feel was doled out for us. And when he was gone this weekend, I felt a bit.... well, a bit empty.

And of course, I was missing two of my kiddos. Perhaps the best time to really know what anyone, most especially little people, contribute to the household is when they aren't around. Where was my kissy-boy (Stephen)? Here's a kid who has tempers that are hot and fast (and often destructive), but when he's not in that mode is the most loving of little boys who gives me at least a hundred kisses a day. I never thought before I had children that I'd have to teach one of them that one kiss at a time is the appropriate method of showing affection. And I missed his curly head digging into my body as he plants kisses all over the place. And my Bearsie.... Clara Rose..... my mini-me who's a Tom-boy and a little spit-fire with a dry humor that is advanced for her age, a knack for knowing just what to say and do to help her mother, and an intuition about people that is truly remarkable.... an intuition that I'm (we're) working to channel into the positive instead of the negative, as she does clearly understand just how to get under each person's skin when she wants to.

The weekend reminded me of the positive in our busy life. It gave me a chance to think about the week ahead and all that needs to be done. It is a busy time in our homeschooling, as we want to get everything in and finish close to the time when Matthias is to be born. When the other half of my family came through the door, I was so relieved that they had all traveled safely.... that they were back where they belonged.... that we were together again.... There were plenty of hugs and kisses and I love yous.

And about ten minutes later, while getting ready for bed, the fighting started. Gone were the phone calls with the excited voices as siblings connected, and in their place was a return to normalcy. As soon as the first fight happened, my buzzer went off. (I'm sure we all have a buzzer that goes off, but most of us don't name it as such. It comes from the feeling that a button has been pushed that turns the anger thermometer on and plunges the red up the scale - FAST). So tomorrow, we go back to normal. And homeschooling continues.
The children will continue their studies, and I will focus on those of course, but I will also be back at the battle of controlling the buzzer, of praying to know how to properly intervene (or not) in the fights, of asking God to know how to handle each situation as it arises.... I will be back to being pruned by my Creator in the day to day. I'm not always game for that. I don't always appreciate it as I should, for I'm not good at accepting suffering in its many forms. Nonetheless, tomorrow the day to day starts again. And in the midst of my personal pruning from the Big Guy, I will be back on track for trying to help four of His little people entrusted to us as parents to also know how to know their faults/weaknesses and to work through them....(of course, I can only do that if I can, with God's help, control my buzzer and demonstrate patience) So when I ask, who learns the most from homeschooling, I think.... I think.... it's me.